Wednesday, October 19, 2011

"Cosmogony"



"Therefore there is in the Changes the Great Primal Beginning. This generates the two primary forces. The two primary forces generate the four images. The four images generate the eight trigrams. The eight trigrams determine good fortune and misfortune. Good fortune and misfortune create the great field of action." (Commentary on I Ching, tr. Wilhelm and Baynes 1967:318-9)

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"Quincunx"






"Quincunx"


how deep is your water?

how hot burns your flame?

how far range your heavens?

how curves your terrestrial frame?

how empty the void within, which contains?




Inspired by Tao-te Ching verse 54

Big Bang (femto-seconds later)

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Tantric Pilgrimage


She is as Mecca, an enticing, engaging, enervating journey at which destination comfort and solace are found and passion sated. Hers is a delightful temple of splendor at which priestesses submit to every fantasy as I attend their Goddess.


Her lacquered talons clutch and tear at my flesh with every rapturous wave, shudder, and pulse of Her taut, muscular, dewy, mahogany form. Whispers, whimpers, wailing, flailing, commanding, demanding, pleading. Then...silence, as She receives my entreaty and releases Her blessing, and I am awash in the light of Her glory.


Opaque pools of calm strength and wisdom gaze upon me with approval and satisfaction, and bated desire. We then abide wordlessly, Deity and devotee, each affirming commitment. Communion renews my devotion to Her, as it satisfies my soul and restores my essence.

Original Handcrafted Jewelry


Fashioned from copper, hematite, obsidian, amethyst, hemp, and wood; they combine naturally-occurring organic and inorganic materials that together are believed to harness Prana -- life energy.  
(reference Wilhelm Reich (late) on Orgone for more information)

Metals act as conduits for Heaven's ethereal, electric energy.
Crystals, wood, and hemp channel Earth's energy of magnetism, gravitation, and formation.
Hand-fashioning supplies Human energy and power of creativity.

(Each of the photographs in this post depict original artwork by the author)
Triple-stranded, triple-loop ring
Nested hypercubic pendant, obsidian crystal,
wooden beads, hempen cord

Choker necklace of 20 hypercubes,
hematite spheres,wooden beads, on hempen cord

Detailed view of choker necklace

Triple-stranded bracelet

Small hypercubic pendant, hematite sphere,
wooden beads, hempen cord

Complete ensemble

Release Your Psoas

The author is an avid inline skater, and has skated inlines since 1991 both indoors and street, after having learned to skated indoors on quads in childhood.  Around 2006, however, I noticed that certain skating moves were difficult-to-impossible for me to perform -- namely any movements involving deep squats and kneebends.  In recognition of this dis-ability, I began doing stretching exercises (yoga--though I didn't realize it at the time) on my bed at night to loosen my hip muscles.  Though well-intentioned, my efforts were unfocused and clumsily executed. By that I mean that there were easier and more effective ways to achieve what I had set out to accomplish, but I wouldn't learn that for several years yet.  Skating was not the only activity that betrayed my dis-ability; physical intimacy often entails movements and positions that utilize the hips (go figure), and full effectiveness was hampered by this.  Beyond that, vigorous sexual activity would sometimes produce back discomfort and pain a day or two later, as men will reluctantly attest.


I can recall the origins of chronic intermittent lower back pain, experienced primarily in the right lower back.  In the early '00s (after the dot-com collapse) I was on a date in Midtown Atlanta, and had used my company's controlled-access parking garage to avoid being overcharged for parking.  After the event was over, I realized that I'd left my parking pass in the car and that my date and I were locked out of the garage.  Without going into a lot of detail, I entered the garage at the 2nd-story level and was able to get to the car so we could leave.  I believe that the pain surfaced on that night.


Some time in 2007 I made the personal acquaintance of a physical therapist.  On informing her to the pain in my back and the dis-ease in the hips, she recommended a series of stretches to enhance flexibility and alleviate the pain. The stretches did provide some degree of relief, but I was not completely diligent at performing the exercises due to the lack of structure and the lack of a clear connection between the exercises and relief.  Sometimes the pain would subside, other times not.


A motorcycle was my primary mode of transportation during the years I was a graduate student (2007 - '09).  On multiple occasions, the back pain flared-up after a ride. I mistakenly attributed the flare-ups simply to wearing a heavy knapsack while riding.
In the summer following grad school, I resumed skating but was still plagued by inflexibility through the hips which prevented me from free motive expression.  Skating was starting to become routine and less-satisfying than ever before.  I sensed that my skating, understood as performance art, was "trapped in a box."  In response to this, I thought of different ways to make it fun again.  Toward this end, I endeavored to master a particular skating maneuver called "side surfing" whereby the skater moves with feet pointing at 12 and 6 o'clock, with respect to the direction of motion.  I practiced flexibility exercises using the lines on the linoleum floor to align and space my feet.  I also used a wood plank in the same way, with the added benefit of it serving as a platform to simulate the dynamic balance required during skating.  


I reached a crucial juncture when I began to use online resources (Wikipedia, etc.) to study the musculature of the hips.  In this way I learned that the source of my discomfort and inflexibility was in the hip flexor muscles.


Arguably, the most important (as it regards this discussion) of the hip flexors are the iliacus and the psoas major, collectively termed the iliopsoas or 'inner hip muscles.'  Flexors are responsible for pulling the knees toward the chest; without the iliopsoas, it is impossible the raise the knees above the hips from a seated position.   Here, I achieved a breakthrough because illustrations on the website depicted how the psoas major connects from the hipbones to the 5 lumbar vertebrae and the last thoracic vertebra.  At last I'd located the source of my back pain. Knowledge of the mechanism of the pain encouraged and empowered me to seek targeted solutions for dispelling it.  
I also learned that the specific type of muscle fiber composing the iliopsoas was particularly prone to pathological contraction often resulting from from disuse.  
Persons engaging in a largely sedentary lifestyle (office workers, e.g.) will need to exercise their flexors regularly to prevent this muscular shortening.


In the process of searching for exercises to lengthen the flexors, yoga quickly and inadvertently surfaced as the clearest path to returning to health. Per Yoga Journal, "The psoas, a bridge linking the trunk to the legs, is critical for balanced alignment, proper joint rotation, and full muscular range of motion."  Several skeleto-muscular pathologies can emerge from a shortened iliopsoas:

If the iliopsoas and other hip flexors are tight, they pull down and forward on the pelvis, which tilts the pelvis forward and compresses the lower back. Picture a man standing with the front of his pelvis tilting forward and his tailbone lifting. To stand upright, he has to overarch his lower back. Anatomically, this is called hyperextension; commonly, it's called "swayback." Prolonged standing or sitting in this position increases pressure on the facet joints of the lower spine, which can contribute to arthritis in those joints.

Curing Back Pain with Yoga: personal testimonial

I'd already identified the hip flexors as a longstanding problem area for myself, and that the right hip was noticeably tighter than the left.  In early February, I found myself doing yoga poses to loosen my hamstrings and groin muscles.  Additionally, i was working on loosening the hips muscles.  Over the previous month or so I'd noticed some improvement in mobility in my skating.  Just before the yoga one evening, I'd warmed up my lower body in the bath.  
HP_220_Balasana_248.jpg
There is a posture called Child's Pose, fairly easy in physical complexity and rigor (photo courtesy of Yoga Journal): the magic of this position is the extreme passivity of it.  Gravity does most of the work here; all the practitioner need do is breathe rhythmically and relax; alternately, the arms may be raised to rest on the back for more downward force.  I entered this and remained in it a minute or so, enhancing the stretch by leaning and rocking from side to side.  I started to feel significant discomfort from my right hip.  The discomfort built, peaked, and plateaued at a manageable level.  It was then that I realized that the hip was open!  Opening a joint like the hip largely means that you have flexed or extended it fully.  Believe me, if this sounds insignificant, it is not.  This is merely the beginning of a healthy relationship with a joint.  After a series of other poses, I reclined on the couch for a breather.  On a whim, I pulled my right knee into my chest and felt the sensation of full flexion without the resistance and pain that had long accompanied that kind of movement.  
I remember saying joyfully, "My hip is back!" as I wrapped my arms around my right knee as I held it to my chest and hugged myself.  What followed was absolutely amazing.  Words don't fully capture the spectrum of emotion I experienced in the next moments.  Grief, loneliness, guilt, sorrow, and more rushed out of me like a faucet, and I heard myself say "Where have you been?  I've missed you so much!"  It was like recovering a long-lost relative.  The tears began to well at the corners of the eyes and my heart soared with the force of its newfound buoyancy.  Again, this description does the experience very little justice.  The only way I can describe it meaningfully is to say that in an instant I felt reconstituted and whole, as though a vital piece of myself had abruptly returned from long hiatus.  I was overwhelmed by the lightness of my being, and wracked by the force of the sobs that tore free from my breast.  Then, after a time I was at peace again, though confused by the power, unexpectedness, and power of the experience.  As I struggled for ideas, thoughts, and words to describe what had just happened, it happened again, but differently.  The first time was a release of pent-up pain, fear, and loneliness and the lightness of being that immediately ensued.  Then, it was the complete feeling of joy and gratitude for what had just occurred; and that feeling, dear reader, is completely ineffable, beyond description.  It was like an orgasm in its intensity and the feeling of release, but completely devoid of any sexual feelings or thoughts.  When it was over, I felt brand-new, reborn.


Now that I've had time to reflect, I submit the following hypotheses and explanations:  
A hip muscle had been locked, to various degrees, in a contracted state over a period lasting several years, limiting mobility and causing discomfort and pain through skeletal misalignment.  Clearly, this was the source of the back pain I had learned to tolerate and accept as part of my experience.
There is a mind-body connection, and it is bidirectional.  Psychic/mental inflexibilities can manifest as stiffness (refusal to bend, stretch, or extend in certain directions) which produce pain.  In turn, the body's physical inflexibility, it seems, can also entrap mind, hide, or disguise it, thus separating it from the whole.  Refusal to confront the source of pain amounts to tacit acceptance of it, thus locking one in a cage from which only one may free oneself.


The mind can repress affect (feeling), thus manifesting it in flesh as illness or pain as in the case of my hip.  Pain is not inherently bad; it is a signal of un-wellness or dis-ease .  When we respond to pain in such a way to alleviate it, we engage in active self-love.  Conversely, ignoring pain or suppressing it leads to suffering, which is altogether unhealthy because it does not promote self-love.  Suffering pain over a long period is like living in a prison.  The pain profoundly affects the mood and psyche in ways that we may not discern directly.


Another idea is that a facet of the psyche had been dislocated when i experienced my head trauma accident at 13 years.  I remember complaining of hip/pelvic pain and having been X-rayed but diagnosed non-conclusively.    On impact, the fractured aspect of psyche had retreated into the injured hip to recuperate, and had perhaps gotten trapped there, struggling to be found and freed.  While far-fetched, I must appeal to the distinct senses of return and wholeness I experienced, and a noticeable change in mood and countenance (as reported by a witness of the event) for substantiating this intuition.